Mike struggles through his entire Year 3
Why? Because he has a weak spirit,
He has lack of confidence in his own design,
He knows very well about his weaknesses,
and he is trying to overcome all of them,
He is under a scholarship,
That also means, he can't fail nor end up with shitty results
With his weak status,
He gave up almost everytime on his design process,
The only way was, to keep his spirit boosted thruout the hardship.
These were the attributes generated in the process:
1) He tends to speak in an over confident manner on everything he does.
2)He tends to celebrate every small details of improvement that he have made.
3) He wants to share these joy to friends as he know that he can count on his buddies to further boost his spirit.
Sad to say, these are done in such a way because Mike T has a weak mind. He created a perception to everyone that he had a smooth sail and that he gets all the lecturer's approval easily.
The truth is In every single day of his year 3,:
-He got stuck in his design every time he sketches and has his design thrown out the window.
-He struggled beyond his sleeping time, and developed gastric ulcers.
-He approaches a list of people who condemn his designs, and tell him that it would never work, and that he is a failure in the design industry.
-He did not turn to anyone to complain about how he is giving up in his design work, because it would just burden his pals even more.(Like what jon quoted "you never know how to ask for help")
-He acknowledge all his Year 2 Design work as trash, and he is struggling hard to make his Year 3 way beyond what he expected to do.
These points might be little and look small, but its was extremely difficult for the insignificant and weak spirited Mike T.
Despite all that, now, Mike T has a new challenge to face!
Within this week, Mike got:
-2 Messages, telling him to fuck off, that he is a failure of his speech, and that he is getting all that sickness from his karma. (I worked hard for year 3, so my karma is to get the stomach pain, relevant indeed)
-Throughout his ways of keeping his spirit up, he has projected a perception of making people feel that his new found confidence is arrogance, and that his ways of overjoying about the small details of his improvements as bragging.(I apologize)
-His fuse tripped multiple times causing damages to his 1 terabyte harddisk permanently.( Lost all 3D models)
-He wake up every morning,, fatigue, exhausted, and lack of inspiration and motive to do his prototype work because through his sleeping time, he keeps reflect and re-evaluate himself, with deep criticism and torment.( yes, i do it every night)
All these events that occured , totally dampened his spirit, and there was no source of confidence, like an eagle getting it's wings cut off, because he was told that he spread his wings to wide when he fly.
Human see things based on what you projected in the outside. The only way for them to know who you truly are is to understand and look right inside you. I am truly blessed to have known friends who look right inside my heart, and laugh at my projections and ways of doing things.
There are only 1 or 2 people who truly understand the real Mike T, but for those who do, i am on my knees, thanking you all, for the deep understanding and the strong faith you have in me.
Lord Buddha, may your wisdom be my guide.
and
Dear God, Thanks for blessing me with such a sophisticated and meaningful life.May all my enemies gained better understanding of my true intention, and may all my friends feel blessed by having me as a friend, as they are blessings to me as well.
Thank You.
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